Saturday, March 10, 2012

LORD, FORGIVE ME...


Do you ever murmur or complain? Who doesn't right? This morning, as I worked on my Bible study lesson, the Lord spoke to me about this. I've been murmuring and complaining and had not even realized how much--until now.

This is what the Lord says in His Word about murmuring and complaining, 'The LORD said to Moses and Aaron: “How long will this wicked community grumble against me? I have heard the complaints of these grumbling Israelites. So tell them, ‘As surely as I live, declares the LORD, I will do to you the very things I heard you say: In this desert your bodies will fall—every one of you twenty years old or more who was counted in the census and who has grumbled against me.  Not one of you will enter the land I swore with uplifted hand to make your home, except Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua son of Nun. As for your children that you said would be taken as plunder, I will bring them in to enjoy the land you have rejected. But you—your bodies will fall in this desert. '- Numbers 14:26-32.


It sounds pretty harsh, doesn't it? But the Lord had rescued the Israelites from their slavery in Egypt, performed many miracles, took care of them in the desert and yet they complained saying they wanted to go back to Egypt because it was better over there.

I didn't know I was being a complainer too until I read the questions from my Beth Moore's Bible study lesson on David. The first application question was, "Have you recently become aware of something God wants to give you or do for you?" I answered, "Yes, to reach people for His Kingdom. He is equipping me to write for his glory!"

The following question was, "Are you accepting what God is offering you?" I said, "Yes, but I need to stop complaining about the work and do it joyfully."

That's when it hit me...I've been a reluctant writer. I've been expressing that it was not my idea to write a book to begin with. Several friends had suggested I write about my journey with God. English is my second language. I don't have a college education and have never taken a writing class. Needless to say, it has been a big challenge. I love the Bible study I wrote, but in the process of learning to revise and publish the book, I've been complaining all along...

This is my list of complaints:

I'm being stretched by God.
I don't know how to write.
I don't want to learn or do the work ahead.
I rather speak about the Lord and share with my friends than write.
My back and neck hurt when I sit in front of the computer.
I just want to move on and be done.

This morning after reading the application questions, the Lord spoke to my heart... He said, "You have said that You want to be used by me, that you're willing to lay your life for me. You asked me for something new in your life and to bring you people by the thousands to tell them about my love for them."

My next step was to pray, "Forgive me, Lord for murmuring and help me to enjoy learning to write for your glory."

Then I asked my husband to forgive me for my murmuring and thanked him for his support on this endeavor. He said, "It's a journey. Go through the journey. Enjoy the blessing of the journey. You want to finish fast and be done with it, but look at all the wonderful new people you have met in your journey. You have grown through this process."

God continues to build character and patience in my life. Through this journey of writing for almost three years, I have met wonderful Christian writers that have blessed my life. We encourage one another and pray for each other.

This morning, I renewed my covenant with God. I dedicated my work space and writing to Him and once again I said, "Lord, use me as you please. I am yours!"


I will joyfully write through His strength and continue to ask Him to use me to bless others through it. I formally apologize to all of you who heard me complain and murmur in the past. Keep praying for me to have joy, peace and physical strength for my back and neck as I write.

My Prayer for you:

May God make you aware of areas in your life where you are complaining right now. May He help you accept your situation. May He give you strength, JOY and endurance as you go through your own journey and set of challenges. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen!

Love you all,

Guadalupe :)